Hi Everyone,

Judy and I would like to mention an issue that dads often
face after the death of a child. And it can be incredibly painful during the holiday season.

After Mickey died people always asked me (Pat) the same questions when they met me. First they’d ask, “So, how is Judy doing?” And I’d tell them. Second they’d ask, “And how are Jeremy and Jamie (our other two children) doing since Mickey died?” And I would tell them and wait for what I thought would be the obvious third question, “So Pat, how are YOU doing?” But that question never seemed to come. In fact, I can’t remember anyone asking me that question until Mickey had been gone nearly two years.

So Judy and I would like to encourage you not to forget about dad. Dad’s too often suffer incredibly in silence. Our culture expects dads to be the strong, unemotional type that was the trademark of too many movies in the 60’s and 70’s.

But I can tell you from personal experience, a dad’s heart is just as broken when his son or daughter dies as a mom’s heart is. So this holiday season, when you’re reaching out to a grieving family or friend - don’t forget the dad in the family. I can guarantee that the dad you reach out to will feel relief and comfort.

I was recently sharing this with someone who had lost her son and she mentioned another thing she was experiencing since her son died. When she’s been out shopping she has noticed friends or neighbors who see her quickly turn down another aisle or actually turn around and walk the other way so they won’t have to face this mom. You can imagine the pain that adds to her already broken heart.

Maybe you are a person that feel uncomfortable seeing a mom or dad or surviving sibling after they have lost a child because you don’t know what to say. Then don’t say anything. Just stop and give a hug. Or, if you feel you need to say something, simply say, “I have been thinking of you.” That’s enough.

Well, we’ve got to run. But remember - reach out to a hurting person today. Remember, we love you guys. God bless - Pat & Judy