I was reminded yesterday morning about why Judy and I have
started Smile Again Ministry. A man was calling and asking about
open dates for Whitetail Lodge. During the course of our
conversation he asked me, “How long has it been since your daughter
died?”

It was one of those L-O-N-G pause moments for me. It’s one of those
moments that parents who have had a child die really can’t prepare
for. “Mickey died 21 years ago today,” I told the caller. Now it was
his turn to pause.

Moms and dads who have had a child die live with the reality that at
any given moment someone, or something, will bring memories of their
child’s death rushing back like an emotional Tsunami.

It seemed impossible to believe that 21 years have passed since Mickey
died in the ICU unit at what is now known as Regional Hospital in St. Paul,
MN.

I can still remember those final moments. Mickey had been in a coma for
38 days. Her bed was surrounded by machines that monitored her pulse,
her blood pressure, her temperature, her oxygen levels. Another machine
pumped air in and out of her chest for her. Then the alarms on the
monitors began to sound. One by one they were turned off by the
nurses who had taken such incredible care of Mickey while she was alive.

Within seconds the only sounds that were heard in that room were the
agonizing tears of Judy and me. Even nurses were wiping tears from
their cheeks. Mickey had been a special patient for them as well. She
just had that affect on people.

Judy and I started Smile Again Ministries because we know every day
other moms and dads experience this same moment in their lives. We
want to be there to help them when the silence turns to the sounds of
“life as usual,” knowing that their lives will NEVER be “usual” again.

Even after 21 years Judy and I miss Mickey so much. We find ourselves
wondering what she would be like now? Would she be married? Probably.
Would she have children? Probably. Would she be reaching out to people
around her with her infectious compassion and laughter. No doubt. We
miss Mickey a lot.

By the way, the man I was talking to yesterday, he’s helping a mom and
dad come to Whitetail Lodge within the next month. Judy and I look
forward to weeping with them as they tell us the story of their son
who died this past summer.

God bless  - and remember, we love you guys. Pat & Judy