In recent days we have received emails and even phone calls from people looking for help.

One woman called asking what she could do to comfort a friend who lost two teens in a car accident.

Another woman emailed asking for help in supporting a neighbor who had run over one of their own children in their driveway.

A woman from California wrote asking for help in talking to her niece who had just lost a 3 1/2 month old daughter.

We’ve gotten other emails from Colorado, Michigan, Iowa, Pennsylvania, and Minnesota.

So my question of the day is, “What would you say?” What would you tell a friend that wants to be a comfort to her friends?

Let me say that what Judy and I do first is simply listen. Listen to the cries of unbelief and yes, even the words filled with anger. Be slow to speak. We have found that most people who have lost a child simply need someone to talk to. Be there. It is so easy to say things like, “If you need anything don’t hesitate to give me a call.” A parent who is grieving won’t call. You will need to call, and be willing to hear the answering machine screening calls over and over again. Please, don’t hold that against the person. They are in pain, and sometimes they can’t talk - even to a close friend.

This time of year send a personal note, and be sure to mention their child by name. I can tell you right now that I think of our Mickey a lot at Christmas time. I still miss her greatly, and she’s been gone 19 years. Let your friend know you love them. Maybe invite them out for coffee or lunch. Yes, it will take time, but we can tell you that YOU will be blessed too by helping your friend.

Jesus tells us that it is more blessed to give than to receive. Please spend time this Christmas giving to those who are grieving around you.

God bless - Pat & Judy